GettingThrough The Pain

Healing after the death of a loved one, a divorce, or any life-altering situation is a deeply personal experience and by its very nature—a lonely process. Grieving involves the sentiments and emotions connected to loss. Mourning is the expression of those feelings. In order for healing to take place, you must acknowledge your loss and give yourself permission to mourn as you seek God’s abundant mercy and healing grace.

Due to the uniqueness of your loss your life experiences and your emotional connection to what’s been lost, you’ll experience grief in a way that’s unique to you. However, most people experience many of the same emotions at one time or another, with depression being the most common. (For helpful information on depression see post titled Overcoming Depression.)

It’s important to remember that healing is a process. It can neither be hurried nor accomplished in a predetermined length of time. In fact, emotions that you thought you had dealt with may reappear at a later date. But even those moments of regression are evidence that healing is taking place and serve as signals that more work needs to be done at that particular stage.

Like all journeys, healing begins with a single step, followed by a second and a third, until the destination is finally reached and the peace that you long for is yours. As you begin to heal and release your associations and dreams connected to a person or lifestyle that’s no longer a part of your life, you’ll open yourself to new possibilities. Eventually, the memories that are now painful will become memories that you can cherish and treasure.

The above is an excerpt from my book, Life Interrupted: Grief Recovery Guide and Workbook, available through http://www.grief-recovery.org/ and Amazon. Visit the website to download FREE ‘Healing From Loss’ articles.

Am I Really Healing?

One of the most common symptoms of grieving is depression.  It’s not unusual to experience sadness again and again as we progress through our healing. This may cause many to wonder if they’re sliding backward rather than moving forward.  Feelings of depression are especially common during holidays and other days that hold special significant such as anniversaries and birthdays. (See posts titled, 16 Tips to Help You Get Through the Holidays While Grieving and Lost Love and Valentine’s Day.)

In order to heal and regain a sense of equilibrium and wellness, we need to accept our loss, choose to let go and move forward in a new direction. Surrounding ourselves with people that are understanding and supportive reminds us that we’re not alone. Attending grief recovery support groups or workshops allows us to connect with others that are experiencing similar emotions and can provide insight and encouragement. Involvement in the community or in a project geared toward helping others serves to take our attention away from ourselves and our pain and gives us a broader perspective.

As we continue healing we’ll experience a lessening of grief and in time the memories associated with the severed relationship will be less painful. In many instances our life will follow a different path—one that we may not have considered if it wasn’t for the loss.  We learn and we grow from the experience and the demands placed upon us—and in so doing we create a new reality.

Life with all its challenges and joys, its peak moments as well as the ordinary and mundane, is a privilege and a gift from God.  And when one considers all the possibilities that come our way, from the miniscule to the majestic, it’s both awesome and humbling.

To download FREE Healing From Loss articles and purchase books on grief recovery please visit http://www.grief-recovery.org