NEW LOCATION

I have moved my blog, Healing From Loss, to a new location. Please visit my new “home” at www.paulinajaramillo.com where I’ll continue sharing from my heart and replying to your comments and questions. See you there!

To download FREE articles and view my books please visit my website www.grief-recovery.org

16 Tips to Help You Get Through the Holidays While Grieving

Are you dreading the coming holidays? Are you grieving and wondering how you can get through the festivities? Read my blog post “16 Tips to Help You Get Through the Holidays While Grieving” posted on my NEW blog site. Please click here http://paulinajaramillo.com/

For FREE articles on Healing From Loss visit my website www.grief-recovery.org

Suicide Among Veterans: Alarming Statistics

I’ve just posted a new blog dealing with the alarming rate of suicide among veterans. To read please visit my NEW blog site  http://paulinajaramillo.com/ Comments are welcome.  

To dowload FREE articles on Healing From Loss and suggestions on what to say/do when expressing sympathy please visit my website http://www.grief-recovery.org/

New Location

I have moved my blog, Healing From Loss, to a new location. Please visit my new “home” at www.paulinajaramillo.com where I’ll continue sharing from my heart and replying to your comments and questions. See you there!

To download FREE articles please visit my website www.grief-recovery.org

Grieving, Mourning and Healing

“Everyone grieves when someone dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.”  (Alan Wolfelt, PhD)

Healing, after the death of a loved one, a divorce or any life-altering situation, begins when we acknowledge our loss and allow ourselves to experience the feelings connected with that loss. Grieving involves the emotions we’re experiencing; mourning is the expression of those feelings.

The next step necessitate releasing our associations and dreams connected to the person or lifestyle that is no longer a part of our lives. This doesn’t happen immediately nor does it follow a prescribed method. It’s a process that takes time, effort, commitment and hard work. But, like a germinating seed, the day will come when you’ll break through the dark place into the light and begin to live your life exactly as it’s meant to be lived. And when that happens the memories that are now painful will become memories that you can cherish and treasure.

Please visit my website www.grief-recovery.org for FREE articles on Healing From Loss.

Eternal

 

 

God. Eternal– without beginning and without end. Our finite mind can not comprehend such a phenomena. Only by faith in His word can we take hold of that truth.

• “God is great and we do not know Him; Nor can the number of His years be discovered.” (Job 36:26)
• “You are from everlasting.” (Psalm 93:2)
• “From eternity I am He.” (Isaiah 43:13)
• “The High and Lofty One who inhabits eternity.” (Isaiah57:15)
• “The Living God and the everlasting King.” (Jeremiah 10:10)

And yet His love for us is so complete that He came to earth and endured the torment of sin even unto death so that we can share eternity with Him.

Mighty is He

God. The powers of heaven are His to command; legions of angles wait eagerly to do His bidding, The entire universe, from planets to galaxies to constellations comply with His prescribed course. The forces of nature follow his directives from the fiercest tempest to the gentlest breeze. The creatures that populate the earth and sky and sea bow to His will. His power is inescapable and immeasurable and evident both in the visible and invisible realms, yet the mightiness of God is something we don’t often contemplate even as we walk in the midst of it.

Like the automatons we’ve created, we walk about mindless of His power which enables us to live and breath. Foolishly we ascribe to ourselves the glory and honor that belongs to Him alone.

“Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,  mightier than the breakers of the sea– the Lord on high is mighty.” Psalm 93:4

Please visit my website www.grief-recovery.org for FREE articles on Healing From Loss.

Healthy Venting: You and Your Journal

A traumatic experience, such as the break-up of a meaningful relationship or the death of a loved one, creates major changes in our lives and affects every area of our existence including how we interact with others. The way that we choose to express our grief is personal and often based on how we relate to life on a daily basis. Reactions can range from wanting to be left alone to wanting someone nearby at all times. Some people may cry or display their grief openly, others may consider grieving to be strictly a private matter and still others may deny their feelings altogether.

Allowing ourselves (or others) to experience grief without expectations or time limits is important. Pretending that something didn’t happen or that we’re not affected by it is not an option. Denial is a red flag that needs to be attended to immediately. It’s not something that will go away on it own. A person that’s living in denial may give the appearance that they’ve dealt with the crisis and are moving forward nicely. However, if they’re having difficulty controlling their emotions or are indulging in behavior that’s contrary to what they would normally do (e.g. impulsive buying, gambling, etc) denial may be a factor worth considering.

So how do we express our emotions in an effort to avoid denial? A method that worked for me when we experienced the loss of several family members in a relatively short span of time was writing in a journal. Writing allowed me to express my feelings without having to explain or justify them at a time of my own choosing and in the privacy of my own home. It’s a method that I highly recommend not only because it worked for me, but because others have used it with equally great success. No special tools are required. A spiral notebook and a pen will serve the purpose. Below are a few tips to help you get started.

• Select a time of day and place that allows you to write uninterrupted.
• Write daily for a least 15 minutes.
• Use pen and paper (versus a keyboard).
• Express your feelings without censoring.
• Store your journal in a private place.
• Use a different journal for different topics or situations

Using a journal to express our feelings has many benefits including some unexpected ones. It lead me to write two books on grief recovery and eventually to start a series of workshops designed to help people recover from traumatic loss and move forward with renewed hope. Venting your feeling in a journal is a good way to express yourself without worrying what someone else might think.

Please visit my website http://www.grief-recovery.org for FREE articles on Healing from Loss and suggestions on what to say/do when expressing sympathy.

Helping Family & Friends Who Are Grieving

Going through the experience of grieving with a family member or friend that’s lost a loved one is an ordeal none of us wish to experience. On the one hand, we want to offer support and encouragement but on the other hand we’re afraid of saying or doing something that will make matters worse. Because grieving is a deeply personal experience, there are no hard and fast rules that we should follow, however, there are a few important things to keep in mind. Some of the most common expressions of grief include disbelief, crying, depression, anger, fear, etc. Some people have described the range of emotions similar to being on a roller coaster with emotions varying from mild to deeply intense from one day to the next or even from hour to hour.

When offering sympathy it’s best to keep our expressions simple and sincere. Statements such as,”I’m truly sorry about your loss. How can I help,” can be a way to initiate conversation and at the same time let the person know that you’re willing to support them through their sorrow. Something else to keep in mind is listening without judging or censuring and offering comfort without making their loss seem insignificant. Cliches such as: “I know what you’re going through” or “everything happens for a reason,” are meaningless and can come across as being condescending and detached.

On the practical side, offering to help with chores or other responsibilities will provide a sense of community and caring. Ask them what they need help with or offer to help in areas that you can commit to such as: grocery shopping, preparing a meal, babysittting, helping with household chores, driving them to appointments, etc.

Oftentimes, reality sets in several days or weeks after the funeral services are over, when the person has to deal with life alone or in an entirely new and different way. Continuing to stay in touch by visiting, calling and /or sending cards is important. Holidays and anniversaries can be particularly difficult and may cause the person to experience a resurgence of intense feelings. Being sensitive and allowing them to express their sadness or other emotions will help them get through those rough days. Including them in holiday activities and/or celebrations, especially if they don’t have family nearby is also important.

Regardless of the particular way that we choose to support a grieving family member or friend, our main goal should be to convey empathy through our support while encouraging them to move forward with renewed hope and courage.

To dowload FREE “Healing from Loss” articles please visit my website: www.grief-recovery.org  

Seeking Our God

 

 

Say a Prayer:  That our hearts will seek God’s desire.

Say a Prayer:  For God’s continued blessings upon our nation.

Say a Prayer:  Glorifying God for His mercy and grace toward us.

Say a Prayer:  For courage and comfort for everyone directly affected by the events of 9/11.

“Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.” (Jer 29:12)

“The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” (Ps 145:18)

To dowload FREE “Healing from Loss” articles please visit my website: www.grief-recovery.org